16 Aug Half Baked and Kneady
So it’s come to this. My baking “hobby” has now grown and weeded its way into every facet of my life like some sort of mutant kudzu. One minute I was looking at a cake decorated beautifully by my aunt and thinking “I would love to try that” and then BAM! Suddenly I was standing over my very first cake decorating disaster. I looked down at the sad cake in front of me with no memory of how I had gotten there. The piping bag in my hand oozed icing onto the counter.
It was like some horror movie where the psycho killer comes to his senses only after looking down at the dead cheerleader with a bloody knife in his hand. Only in my case the cheerleader was actually a poor excuse for a birthday cake. I had had a dissociative fugue that had caused me to savage some poor innocent cake beyond recognition. As ugly as that cake was, it tasted damn good.
Before I had attempted my first cake, I wish I had found a blog that was at least marginally honest. Every “how-to” video I watched made it look so simple and straightforward. Smiling men and women flopped fondant deftly onto perfectly sculpted cakes in the same fashion that I expertly flop onto a couch to watch Netflix. It was like second nature to them. Oh, how those smiling faces seem to taunt me now.
Which is what has led me here…
This new blogging adventure will serve as documentation of my journey through the culinary world and as a “how to” (or “how not to”) guide for any readers out there that might also be taking a culinary journey of their own. I am by no means an expert, but that’s going to be half the fun. I am definitely not a baking baroness, piping princess, decorating diva, or any other alliterative kind of human being. I’m regularly barefoot, but I am no contessa. This blog will show the highs and lows of my baking adventures—the good, the bad, and the burnt.
If it can be baked, I will be attempting to bake it with the internet as my witness. My readers and I will walk hand in hand through this journey together because I promise that if I can do it, so can you. And if I can’t then it’ll be funny to watch me crash and burn, right? So buckle up, preheat your ovens to 350° F, and hold on tight—it’s going to be a bumpy ride. I mean, what did you expect?… your driver is, after all, half-baked and a tad bit kneady.